Summary
Crystal and Lanea discuss the financial stress of having a baby and share their personal experiences and tips. They emphasize the importance of being financially secure before having a baby and planning for the expenses that come with it. They discuss the unexpected costs of food and formula, as well as the expenses of baby gear. They also provide tips on saving money, such as buying generic formula and taking advantage of discounts and rewards programs. Overall, they highlight the need for financial preparedness and budgeting when starting a family.
Takeaways
- It is important to be financially secure before having a baby to avoid unnecessary stress.
- Planning and budgeting for the expenses of having a baby can help alleviate financial strain.
- Consider buying generic formula and taking advantage of discounts and rewards programs to save money.
- Be prepared for unexpected expenses, such as the cost of food and formula.
- Having a fully funded emergency fund is crucial for financial stability during maternity leave.
Transcript
(Note** Transcript is missing persons and time stamps due to technical difficulties that have resolved for the next episode.)
Hi, I’m Crystal, the founder of the piggy bank patrol, a podcast that gets parents talking about money. Did you know that about 43 % of Americans have little to no financial literacy skills? My co -founder, Lanea and I believe parents have the power to break the cycle by learning to build healthy money behaviors and teach their children about money.
Before we get into today’s episode, I’d like to note that the piggy bank patrol content is intended for educational
informational and entertainment purposes only and is not to be taken as legal financial investment or tax advice of any kind. Please consult a licensed financial advisor, certified financial planner, certified public accountant or tax attorney before undertaking any investment or tax strategies for your specific situation. You are responsible for all of your decisions.
Hi Crystal, how’s it going? I’m good, how are you? Good. So as always, I was browsing Reddit and I came across a thread that I thought was very fitting and I wanted to get your insight. how do you handle the financial stress of having a baby on the way? I’ve got a little one coming in T minus six months. My wife and I make a good living, but we have high overhead in a high cost living area and I am feeling stressed.
How do all your parents handle the financial stress of a growing family?
So I think for us at least, we were well prepared to have a baby. We did not even think or discuss trying to get pregnant until we reached a place financially where we were like, okay, this is it. If something bad happens, we’re gonna be okay. And by that I mean
we lose our job or one of us needs to stay home or, you know, one of us gets sick and can’t work for a while. going into it, I didn’t have any accounts specifically categorized as baby spending money.
But we were also earning like almost $100 ,000 a year. we were saving over 60 % of our income at that time. So really making a sacrifice of $1 ,000 a month didn’t really make any. It didn’t hit you. Yeah, it’s like, it’s for the baby. I don’t care. Here we go. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, exactly. So I think like one of the important things to do before getting pregnant, if you’re able to.
is plan, don’t purposefully try to have a baby when you are not financially in the place to have a baby. Because they’re expensive. depending on where you live, having a baby could make or break like the rest of your life financially. And
both you and I would likely agree that it’s irresponsible to have a baby when you’re not financially secure. I don’t ever want my baby to know what it’s like to be homeless. I was homeless for a time and my parents had horrible money behaviors when I was younger and I don’t want that for my baby. He didn’t exist, but I did everything I could for him before.
he existed. I would absolutely. Yeah, I would absolutely agree with that. mean, I think 40 % of divorces are caused primarily by financial stress or, finances. So we, I think we can both agree that when you add a baby to the mix, it’s own stress.
So I couldn’t imagine not being on okay financial footings and having to worry about the stress of how am I going to pay my next mortgage payment and manage a newborn at the same time. You’re just setting yourself up for such a hard life. I was reading a couple studies the other day on
financial management behaviors and how they’re associated with long -term like happiness and liquid savings and just the sheer economic pressure of having another household member, that’s a big impact. That’s something to think about. I know it’s hard when you’re in it and you’re like, ooh, baby fever, because I had that too, but I was still like, okay, but I need to take a step back. Is this actually a good thing
at this time. Because even if you want a baby now, maybe one or two years later can make a big difference financially. I’m living proof of that. my finances have changed dramatically in the last two years. So yeah, absolutely.
What did you do specifically to prepare to have a baby financially?
When it really came down to the gauntlet of I’m eight months pregnant, I think
A lot of the stuff I did was to try and get savings and deals wherever I could on items. Like the crib, it’s a three in one Anna Dream On Me And I picked that up for like 120 on Amazon during Christmas. And I think retails at over 280 nice. Nice savings.
Yeah, exactly. And I did the same thing with the car seat too, because it’s a car seat stroller combo. And I don’t even remember the numbers on that. but I know it was well over 40 % off at Target that I got between adding on the discount codes and using the 10 % off of their gift cards.
Yeah, stack the coupons where you can. Yes, But at the end of the day, I was at that point where it’s needed. just have to eat the cost Did you guys purchase very many items that were
I guess wants instead of needs or any item that you thought that you needed, but turns out that you really didn’t. my God. The infantino baby carriers. My baby hates them. So they’re pretty useless. Like I bought one. It was on sale. So it was like twenty eight dollars.
But my mom bought one so both Raph and I could each have one so we wouldn’t have to constantly adjust it all the time. But he screams bloody murder in them. So I ended up having to buy the wrap style carrier instead, which is something I said I’d never do because it’s bad for their back. But what do I know? Because the baby doesn’t like the other one? Yeah. You know, that’s the one thing you have to learn.
once your baby gets here, it’s not something you can prepare for. I think a luxury item because I was also on Reddit. on the breastfeeding forum, they had a, Hey, what’s kind of stuff did you buy that you regret? And everyone was saying, I regret the milk warmer because my baby can just drink it cold.
So that is a luxury item. I still only picked it up for 25 on discount because I’m not going to pay full price for anything. Absolutely. I love my baby, but it doesn’t matter if it’s full price or not because it’s the same item. Fair, fair. But that actually was important for us. And yeah, sure. It might be a luxury, but warming up that bottle was important because
we were at the point where he was losing weight, he could not afford to lose weight that a cold bottle of milk would cause. And just having to make that up an additional milk when they’re newborns is hard. So it made a difference, I believe at least, in his weight gain because he didn’t have to expend unnecessary calories. Yeah, that makes sense.
I think for, for in the beginning for me, I definitely was much more cautious about purchases. But then once I got to third trimester, I just, pretty much bought everything to be completely honest. I tried to shop for deals, but there’s
quite a bit that I spent that I could have saved, But just to be in the place to be able to do that was one less thing to stress about, especially when you’re heavily pregnant. nesting is no joke.
I did not get to nest and I think that’s part of what kind of helped us financially. But I’ll tell you once he was here, I was like, what budget? Well, and then all of the little things to like, not having to worry about getting takeout or ordering, you know, Amazon delivery or,
Walmart delivery. Yeah. Delivery like when it’s 2am and you’re trying to get in at that 8am time slot without having pay the extra fee. Yes. Yeah. All of those little things. I think that’s what made a huge difference in my transition to parenthood too. I’m not sure if I did have to worry about that. If I would have had postpartum depression more because I couldn’t
I just could not handle any more stress. I physically could not handle an ounce more of stress.
that initial period is definitely overwhelming.
And I think who you marry is such a big part of your overall financial life.
financially speaking, who you marry is one of the biggest decisions you will ever make. And people get married, you know, like, who you got, how old were you when you got married? I got married Six weeks after I turned 19. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Like if they don’t tell 19 year olds, you know, like, how do you reason with a 19 year old for that?
Yeah, but it will have such a large impact. Exactly. But yeah, sound financial management behaviors are associated with higher levels of happiness. So if you’re marrying someone who has poor, financial management behaviors and poor behaviors, all around, that’s going to impact your life. And I don’t think a lot of people
go into marriage being like, I’m going to leave this guy in two years. yeah, absolutely not. Yeah. Like you really have to think about it before you even get married. It’s like, hey, if I have kids with this guy, what will that look like?
I think when you’re recovering from pregnancy and childbirth, having somebody around that you can depend on, 100%, is so important. And a lot of the times it’s hard because like you think you can and then you know,
shit happens. They’re also like new parents too and adjusting and you just you don’t get that support you thought you were going to and it sucks. So just not adding that financial stress on top of that. if you can do everything in your power to not do that.
just makes it better for everybody involved, not only you, but also your kid, because kids sense that.
What was one expense or multitude of expenses that caught you off guard when you had Tristian?
the sheer amount of food I consumed in that first month. Okay, alright. Because I was combo feeding and everyone was pushing me to breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed. Guys, breastfeeding is fucking expensive when it comes to buying food. You have to eat 3 ,000 calories a day and I am lucky if I eat half that on a normal day because that’s a lot of fruit and veggies.
that like, I think in that first month of I spent maybe 1500 on food. I wasn’t pregnant anymore. So I got to eat things that I couldn’t eat before. I got eat sushi and matcha lattes and I bought a lot of crab rangoon I ate a lot of
Chinese food. I ate charcuterie her for like a week straight. I missed my cured meats so bad. You have no idea. That was the one thing that I wanted was a nice Italian cold cut sandwich. Yes. my God. The spicy soppressata. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had had dreams about that when I was pregnant.
I watched my husband eat it. In front of me! That’s so sad.
For me, there’s not a single expense that caught me off guard, but I am surprised the amount that we are spending, It’s more than I was anticipating. And I think the marketing has gotten to me more than it probably should have,
But Leo is still kind of struggling to sit and he’s seven months old at this point. And just, getting pretty much every toy, everything imaginable to like help him. I definitely have purchased.
But just the stress of that, I’ve definitely fallen into the prey of marketing. and this was more when I was pregnant, but like water wipes, I bought like a
a thousand, I don’t even know how many, but working our way through water wipes. And I found out that I really like the Huggies ones better. I don’t know why the water wipes are thin. They’re not stacked where they come out nicely. So they’re just, I don’t like them. They’re not my favorite at all, but they’re, you know, more wholesome. So of course we have 50 ,000 of them that we’re working our way through.
And I think the bougiest thing that we buy is the Lovevery play kits. those are definitely not a necessity. I’ve never heard of that. They’re like a Montessori pre -crafted play kit, but it’s shipped to your house.
I think saw an ad for that once. They’re great in theory and Leo likes them. So I’m not saying that they’re bad, Jesus they’re expensive. Incredibly overpriced. I will say that he does like them. There are knockoff versions on Amazon that I think are pretty good.
They are cute and They are developmentally appropriate, which is nice. question though, they look like they have a lot of parts and I know your house is relatively smaller right now. How are you handling
Are they building up in like a bin that’s gonna overflow someday? Toy management is an issue at this point. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t.
what would you estimate that you spent pre -baby versus post -baby?
our budget before we had the baby, like after we moved to New York was about 3000 a month. Okay. and then we had a baby in the initial month. I blew through like $4 ,000 in addition. like, that was a $7 ,000 month.
now our finances are relatively stable and with the house we’re at like maybe 3 ,200 and that’s calculating in the fact that I have to like switch to formula now.
So you really only talk in $200 more a month on average, you would say? Yeah, but we also moved to a place that’s a little bit cheaper than what we were renting. Okay. we were renting at $1400 a month and our mortgage is $1150.
So I definitely need to redo my budget because what I put is 300 a month towards just baby supplies. So formula diapers, everything that goes into that. yeah. That’s way more than 300. And yeah, I’ve been spending way more than that.
But I will say that
really haven’t been spending much per month since he’s been born we’ll pretend that August is over. We’re at 519 a month on average. That’s not too bad. And he’s eating too now, which comes with its own set of expenses.
I went into it with good intentions about baby lead weaning. That’s what we were going to do. But we’re primarily doing baby food at this point and supplementing with what we’re eating.
I did not think going into it that feeding a baby would be as hard as it is, absolutely not. Or as expensive as it is. That’s why I’m so glad that I moved to New York too, because I qualified under the pregnant women category for Medicaid and now WIC is helping pay for his stuff and he’s going to have
Medicaid through age six if CMS approves the waiver. So he would likely have WIC for the next five years at least. would be so nice. one last thing to worry about. I live in Nebraska, obviously, and not including my husband in my household or,
being married apparently I could support a family of three kids before I would qualify for WIC.
Knowing how much you make, that is ridiculous. I Because I used to make the same as you, so I know. after you get your taxes and your benefits taken out, there’s nothing left. What are you going to do? Make a car payment and pay your mortgage?
Yeah, if that’s a mortgage on a pre COVID house, because if we’re talking post COVID house, you’re not you wouldn’t have a house. Yeah. You can’t even rent anymore either there because it’s insane. So no. and of course, marketing has kind of got to me but doing some Serenity Kids food because they have like salmon and turkey and bison for protein. And it’s like
$3 .99 a little squeezy tube. and a packet usually last well we do a packet of
protein and then a packet of veggies and fruit. So it lasts two days, but yeah, so we spent $12 for less than a week of food just in protein, which isn’t that bad, but my grocery bill is usually relatively cheap. I don’t spend that much on groceries.
And I think that I have guilt to feeding him processed food, which I don’t understand why, because I know eventually he’s just going to eat like the dog food like there’s, know, but right now I have guilt. I know people who eat cat food, like as a human adult choosing to eat cat food. So I think he’s OK. You’re doing a lot better than some people.
I would I would certainly hope so Are you interested in hard figures of what I have spent on Gear pre birth to through today. Yes Okay. Now keep in mind that this is a little bit skewed because I bought three different strollers I returned two of them but
There’s about $700 worth of strollers on here that’s included in this. through the end of 2023 and Leo was born in January 2024, I spent $5 ,850. And then since he has been born through literally today, I spent $4 ,154.
So that’s a grand total of $10 ,004.
Okay, that’s fair. Which seems like a lot. It does. I’m pulling up how much, because I stopped tracking in my last trimester because I got really, really, really sick. But I did do a what babies cost in December.
in the span of finding out I was pregnant in June to December. six months, I spent nine hundred thirty four dollars.
But I will say this is over 18 months. So, not to justify myself, but that’s 555 a month.
I think you’re doing pretty good because a couple of the websites that I was looking at looks like they’re they’re telling us to round up and budget at least 1000 bucks. yeah, and I don’t feel that I am cutting out anything I could definitely.
I try to have some reason with myself, but I don’t know why I’m so good about delayed gratification with myself. But when it comes to him, I’m just like, Yep, we’re gonna get it. Yeah, no, it’s the same. And my mom had the same too. my mom just spent and spent and spent. And when it comes to my baby, I’m like,
Okay, he needs it. Here we go. It’s hard. the psychology of money when it comes to babies, there’s a lot there. We are chemically controlled. If our baby has a need
it releases a chemical in our head that makes us tend to that need. And if that need is fixed by buying something, then probably I haven’t looked at the studies but that’s what I’m gonna theorize is that we will buy it. I have also bought quite a few purchases.
like expensive purchases that were quality of life increases for myself and Adam that had nothing to do with Leo or safety or anything along those lines. for example, we have a Doona car seat. it’s the car seat that turns into the stroller and Adam has back problems and that is has been a lifesaver. But normal car seats cost
100, 200 and this one costs 550 plus another 150 for the base usually they’re $75, but no, this luxury brand is like, no, we’re going to double that. Like 75 Schmo.
that that car seat alone was 7 % of all of my spend. And it was worth it. It was worth it. Fair.
what’s your top two pieces of vice you would tell somebody if they are trying to get pregnant?
make sure you’re actually financially ready and with the right person. And then number two is don’t go into it thinking you know anything. You don’t have a baby, you don’t know anything. And I know like that’s hard to hear,
No one actually tells like the truth about having babies. A lot of it is stigmatized. They don’t talk about it. And I try to be real about it. But this is only episode three, guys.
I don’t think I could have said it any better, but I I really underestimated the emotional aspect of it and how challenging it was on relationship. That’s not financial wise, but just how challenging it was on our relationship. And we went into it in a really good spot.
we were married, we did IVF, we were very much happy, very much in love, but it has been a challenge. as far as the financial piece of it, I think, make sure to have at least three months of, expenses set aside so you’re not worrying about it while you’re on maternity leave, assuming you plan to go back.
to work. my biggest piece is to be able to make the purchases that you need to make without having to worry about it. we can’t predict the future, you might not be able to return to work. I mean, that’s a very good point health wise. Yeah, you you just might not be able to.
I think that that’s my my piece of advice is have your emergency fund.
And you definitely should be. I have not looked at the stats, but how many people have a fully funded emergency? they don’t. the stress of that alone. and I know it’s easier said than done. I know that but
I think you can make progress and put yourself in the right direction. Not just for your baby, but for yourself too. absolutely. For both. Yeah, you both deserve it.
I do also have like a quick finance tip for new parents. I love it. So you can go into this journey and fall for the best breast is best. I can tell you right now that is best.
because I was pressured into breastfeeding to the point of almost dying. I literally was in the hospital for a thyroid storm that my endocrinologist says was likely triggered by pushing the breastfeeding. This was just weeks ago. So what I want to tell you is I got to stop breastfeeding.
which means I have to supplement with formula again. Now, one of the contributing factors of me pushing for breastfeeding so hard and everyone pushing me for breastfeeding so hard and by everyone, I mean me, myself, I, the world, America. NHS, the UK, everyone. Baby -friendly hospitals. The moon, the sun.
baby gets horrible rashes even on formulas like Gentlease which you think the name would be gentle. it’s not it smells horrendous. It comes out horrendous and he just cries and has rashes And I know that it’s from the lactose we haven’t had any testing quite yet but I had that issue when I was his age.
from lactose. So I went in search the last week because my supply tanked bad. And you can come out of this having an amazing supply and then your postpartum thyroiditis hits and you got drops. I’m not spending $70 for 12 ounces of fucking formula.
My husband makes $3 ,000 a month. We spent $3 ,000 a month. So, if you look at the generic brands, the generic versions of formula
the majority of them are just white label formula made by Perrigo It’s the same formula at the end of the day,
they have a sensitive premium, which is basically Similac ProSensitive. And that is formula that
Lactose is removed up to 99 % 1 % lactose is good enough for me because that’s likely not going to trigger an allergy. It’s just 1%. So basically what I came here to say is that buy generic formula,
And when you buy the generic formula, Look for the deals for example, right now Walgreens is running a sell of buy two get one free. So that’s basically a 33 % savings or a $70 savings on a purchase of six. And I know that I could save more if I
did not buy the premium. But I want the HMOs and that’s the difference between the sensitive and the sensitive premium
I as a mom, I have looked into that. You’re not crazy. Okay. Also, fair warning, Gentlease as the name is so misleading and feel really stupid because I fed my baby at first along and it hurt him so for so long. But it has 20 % lactose.
And then just as a heads up, I’m on their website right now and they literally like at the bottom advertise them making formula for Walmart and Sams Club and Costco and Target and Walgreens and everything.
It also helps that my baby tolerates switching formula and foods easily. Leo does not.
the generic like sensitive premium smells absolutely amazing. I didn’t taste it. But
It’s not disgusting. It is crazy how bad Some of them smell.
But yeah, that’s my quick finance tip is don’t go into it thinking that just because they say you can breastfeed that you can you’ll be able to breastfeed? Yeah, it’s not always medically possible or mentally possible. And that’s okay. A fed baby is more important. As somebody who struggled heavily, I will, I would 100 % echo that.
Do you have any finance tips?
my hot formula tip is also at CVS. I am like a CVS ExtraCare member because you get $10 off. And then I sign up for the Similac rewards. So I usually have like a $15 coupon and you can stack that with a CVS 40 % off coupon. So I routinely get the big things of formula that are like $57 for like 19. Nice.
That’s actually cheaper than what I’m getting. also like the extra care also discounts it to just like in general. So yes, yeah, but they’re they routinely have 30 40 % off. And then if you combine that with the Similac rewards or whatever rewards that you use.
if you’re pregnant now and you know that you’re going to be using formula, and that’s another thing too, even if you don’t think you’re going to be using formula, buy a can anyway because I wish I had.
Yeah, I signed up for both Similac and Infomill and they both sent free samples and it was enough samples to get you by for a little while. That’s good. I know you can ask your pediatrician to a lot of like they want to help and they’re given free stuff all the time.
Do you have any homework for people?
Yes. So my homework is if you’re pregnant currently right now, I want you to research the price trends of formula over the last five years, just so that way you can get an idea of what’s been going on in the landscape. We did have formulas shortages. It’s stressful, but I want you to come up with like a game plan if you are going to do formula, if there is another shortage,
Figure out what you’re going to do if you have a one month old baby, it’s not like you can just feed them purees. If there’s a shortage, have a backup plan for that.
I agree. if you’re not pregnant, know your numbers. know what you would need in order to be able to survive, three months on maternity leave, assuming that it’s unpaid and, get your, your finances in order. And even if maybe you are not at the place where you can, have a fully funded emergency fund, work.
towards that. Find out where you can cut, where you cannot cut, and work towards saving up as much as possible for the baby.
Crystal, it was lovely speaking with you tonight. I really appreciate it as always. Thank you so much, Lanea. If you guys want to follow us on Instagram, YouTube and Spotify, we are opening a TikTok account if you want to check that out.
Ooh, breaking news! Breaking news! You might see our faces someday!
Okay, see you guys later. Bye. Bye.
Sound Bites
“Depending on where you live, having a baby could make or break the rest of your life financially. And both you and I would likely agree that it’s irresponsible to have a baby when you’re not financially secure.”
“40% of divorces are caused primarily by financial stress.”